Welcome To Parenthood!
Let me guess … you decided to have kids and you thought “wow, this is just going to be the most magical adventure ever”.
And then … it wasn’t! Well not that it isn’t magical and wonderful, but rather, it is not what you were expecting.
Yeah, I get that. Because I have been there! Am there now! Gonna be here for awhile!
My husband and I married and talked about kids. I wanted kids. 3 to be exact. He was on board … sort of, just not on the same page with the number.
And when I did start this parenthood journey, it was totally different than what I was expecting. There were so many ups and downs, things I was expecting and things I was not, and then I found myself looking in the mirror wondering “did I do the right thing by having kids” because I was looking at someone that I did not recognize.
So there I was looking in a mirror and this person looking back at me … very much looked like me but was so very different than what I had always envisioned.
- I looked tired, even though I was trying to cover it up with make-up and a smile. Pretending to look like that “normal” person I was before kids. There were more subtle stains on my shirt than I cared to really acknowledge.
- I stood there comparing myself to every other parent I came across on my daily adventures. I tried to join some mom groups. But it was really hard because it looked and sounded like everyone else had their shit together and there I was …. a complete mess … at least in my eyes.
- And then there was lack of everything. I wished I had the energy, motivation, and drive to do the things that I had done before kids. I wanted permission to sleep-in sometimes. I wanted permission to think of myself or do things for just myself … like get a massage or facial or even get my nails done. And I wanted to not feel guilty about putting some of my own needs and wants at the top of the list.
So .... Then What?
I decided to take control.
To give myself permission.
To stop comparing myself to others.
And this is what sparked my want to help other parents like me.
Why A Life Coach For Parents?
For as long as I can remember, all I wanted to do was help … people, animals, anything! But that way of helping was very conflicted for so long and not really clear. Eventually, I got some clarity and I knew that I wanted to make an impact on people.
It started with wanting to be a teacher, that then transformed into an occupational therapist, and then … I made my way to social work. For the last 13+ years, I have been a practicing social worker, specifically working with children, teens, and families in a variety of settings (residential treatment program, community outpatient mental health clinic, public school, and more). And while I have truly loved this work and the impact it has had on those I have worked with, it just did not feel like the right fit. I kept feeling a pull in another direction.
During this time, I have spent many sessions and countless hours, listening to parents speak about their children, their families, their job pressures, and everything under the sun that they could do for every one else. Never to mention themselves in the mix. Or if they did, it was so at the bottom of the list and full of reasons why they could not do something for themselves.
These parents would share about being happy, joyous, excited but in the same breath sad, tired, overwhelmed. These mixed emotions that at times left them so drained and feeling like they were failing as a parent, partner, and person.
In reality ... they were NOT FAILING at all!
And that is when it truly hit me … this is the work I want to do, need to do!
Parents need to take time to care for themselves. There are all those sayings out there “put your mask on before assisting others”, “you can pour from an empty container”, “the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself”, etc. The list goes on. We can read them until we are blue in the face but do we really believe them, say them, hear them. And if we do, how in the world do we do that??
So while I believe that as a parent we need to take time each and every day, week, month to properly care for ourselves in order to allow us to be and feel like we are able to balance all the roles and responsibilities that the journey of parenthood brings. I know that it is going to be hardwork!! I know that there will be set backs. I know that there will be guilt. But I also know that there can be great joy! Moments for celebration! Peace and comfort!
I believe, that when we do, actually do the work and give ourselves the permission to take that time, then we can really come out on the other side. That being the version of ourselves that we imagined before our children came into our lives. I also believe that with each new stage of parenting, comes a new journey, new guilt, new love, and we can all use some guidance, support, and permission to explore.
Are you ready ... to give yourself permission to fully enjoy this journey of parenthood??!!?!
I am ready! And I hope you join me!
And because to really work with someone, you need to know them ....
... Here are some fun facts about me!
I am a wife in a marriage that is not perfect in the least bit. We argue, disagree, and have very different views of the world. But we love each other. He is my true soulmate. His approval and acceptance means the world to me. He balances me out.
I have 3 children. What I have always wanted but not in the way I wanted. My oldest is Lucas, going to be 10, and is in heaven. Next comes Logan, going to be 9, and is the most caring, loving old soul out there. Then my wild child, spirited Lacey, going to be 7 but you would think 17. All 3 are my world! They guide me, teach me, and inspire me in very different ways.
I am a type-A, strong-willed, passionate, loving, and determined gemini. I love order and organization. I love to be in control. I will tell it like it is but will do it in the kindest way possible because I want others to like me.
I am a true perfectionist. It is something that I am learning to embrace but struggle with all the time. If you only knew what it took to get this website into the world! The drafts, the re-dos, the sheer … “just put this out there!”
I love learning. And by this, I mean all learning. I love to learn through reading. Through exercise. Through experience. I take the approach that in life, you are going to learn something each and every day so be sure to take the lesson.
Experience The Journey!
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